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An unyielding Arab voice
Sunday, March 23, 2008, The Record
Last Updated
Sunday March 23, 2008, EDT 7:28 AM
BY
ELIZABETH LLORENTE
It was some 40
years ago that Aref Assaf was a skinny boy living with his family in a
Palestinian refugee camp. He saw something no boy should see — his 11-year-old
brother shot to death, a few days after the 1967 Arab-Israeli War ended.
Now, living a
comfortable life in the suburbs, married and the father of five, Assaf can often
be seen in Paterson,
front and center of any issue facing the Arab-American community.
At the moment,
he is spearheading a battle to keep a prominent Muslim leader, Imam Mohammad
Qatanani, from deportation. He has used the Web site for his organization — the
American Arab Forum — to rail against the U.S. Department of Homeland Security
for trying to deport the imam. He has helped raise about $100,000 for legal
bills. And following an eloquent appeal before the New Jersey Commission on
Civil Rights, Assaf persuaded the agency to draft a resolution in support of
the imam.
This is the
same man who has been a central figure in the push for the creation of a state
Arab heritage commission. He was a force in getting a mosque built in Rockaway.
And it was Assaf who led a protest aimed at a Wildwood boardwalk vendor who
created a game called "Wack the Iraq," in which players shot
paintball guns at Iraqi figures. The operator shut the game down.
Assaf, who is
49 and lives in Denville, says he has a "need to be out there."
"I feel
obligated to address civil rights abuses and misrepresentation of our culture
and religion," he says.
Saved by a late
bus
On Sept. 11,
2001, Assaf waited for a chartered bus to take him to a business breakfast at
the World Trade Center.
The bus was
late. Then word of the terrorism attacks spread and the trip was canceled.
"I
questioned why God didn't make me one of the dead," says Assaf, with the
deliberate tone that characterizes the way he speaks. "My life was spared
because of a late bus."
Assaf, a man
who constantly analyzes, concluded that he had been spared for a reason, that
he had a mission to fulfill.
But what was
this mission?
Two months
later, Assaf found himself among the thousands of Arab and Muslim men who
received unannounced visits from the FBI. "They said, 'We want to speak to
you,' " Assaf says. "They said 'You're a Muslim, you're Palestinian,
you're Arab and you pray in Paterson.'
They said that because I was all those things, I must know something about
'what lurks under the surface.' "
It was, he
thought, what other Muslims and Arabs were encountering: The view of them and
Islam as threatening and connected to the horrors that had befallen the United States.
"My own
government was questioning my loyalty," says Assaf, who arrived in 1977,
thanks to a college scholarship. The attacks made him — like many Muslims —
angry and nervous.
But Assaf says,
"We could not mourn like the rest of the country. We were treated with
suspicion; we were held in contempt."
The reason for
his second chance at life grew clear to Assaf.
Bridges of
understanding
A few
professors at Drew
University, Assaf's alma
mater, sit at a table, listening raptly to his description of a program he
convinced them to offer.
A faculty guide
on the Model Arab League, a national program that will make its New Jersey debut at
Drew, says that it "offers students the opportunity to learn about the
social, political, economic and security challenges faced by the Arab
states."
"It's
important to build bridges between American and Arab worlds," he tells
them. "This program is one of the small steps we can take to smooth
relations."
This is the
kind of pursuit of hearts and minds that Assaf has assigned to himself since
9/11. His objective is to demystify Arabs and Muslims, to humanize them.
"The
task," he says, "is monumental."
After 2001,
Assaf joined Arab-American organizations, most of them focused on civil rights
and combating discrimination. He gave presentations about Islam, the Middle East and U.S. Arabs.
"I don't
think Americans naturally hate our people," Assaf says. "It's a lack
of information and understanding about what Islam really stands for, that it
condemns violence."
One of his most
notable, and ironic, efforts has involved the FBI and other federal authorities.
"After
Sept. 11, some Muslims hunkered down, after they came under great
scrutiny," says Charles McKenna, executive assistant U.S. attorney.
"But others said, 'No, we're not going to hunker down, we're going to
engage you.' Some leaders engaged the FBI, which took a lot of character. They
decided they wouldn't let the terrorists hijack their religion and their
community."
McKenna credits
Assaf with helping authorities establish a relationship with Muslims and Arabs,
as well as with getting authorities to face their own misconceptions. Assaf
taught them that they shouldn't be suspicious if a Muslim woman will not let
them in the house if she's alone and doesn't make eye contact. It's cultural,
he taught them.
"He's
helped me gain insight into the community that I never had," McKenna says.
Salaheddin
Mustafa, president of the American-Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee-New
Jersey, says that at one time, "if we called the office of our elected
officials, they wouldn't take our calls or they wouldn't make the time to meet
with us.
"Now, they
come to the phone and they meet with us," says Mustafa, crediting
community leaders like Assaf. But cross-cultural understanding, Assaf stresses,
is a two-way street.
He pushes
fellow Muslims and Arabs to become U.S. citizens, to vote and reach
out beyond their community. He chastises them when they do not stand up for
themselves, such as when Don Imus described Arabs as "rag heads." And
he says Arab-Americans should have joined blacks in their outcry when the radio
host made racist remarks about the Rutgers
women's basketball team.
"When it
is our turn to be dehumanized, which we will," he wrote on his Web site,
"we may not have others rushing to comfort and to stand by us."
To really
understand Assaf, says Mustafa, "you have to know where he came from. His
experiences made him passionate, driven. They made him take risks."
Stark beginning
Assaf grew up
in poverty in a refugee camp on the West Bank,
amid violent conflicts between Palestinians and Israelis.
One of 16
children born to a day laborer and a homemaker, Assaf often went barefoot.
Sometimes, he got to wear secondhand shoes. Seven sickly, malnourished siblings
died.
They lived in a
one-room dwelling with no running water. When it grew dark, there was a single
candle that was given to whoever needed it most. Sometimes they used a kerosene
lamp, and their noses would turn dark from the soot.
"Why do we
live like this?" Assaf recalls asking his father.
"He said
it was temporary, that we'd have our Palestinian state again and it would get
better."
An eighth
child, a son just two years older than Assaf, died at the age of 11 when he was
shot by Israeli soldiers.
"The
killing of my brother brought the tragedy of my people home," Assaf says.
"My brother and other kids may have thrown stones, I don't know. They had
no weapons. I will never forget seeing the blood of my brother."
Today, Assaf is
a wealthy man thanks to a string of successful business investments and his
thriving limousine company. He concedes he spoils his children. The boy who
could never have a bicycle has lavished more than 30 upon his children.
Assaf owns a
stately home that boasts marble floors, cathedral ceilings and walls adorned
with gold-leaf inlays and Palestinian artwork.
He has been
married 17 years to Elham, a stay-at-home mom whom he describes as his rock.
The Assafs help
bring dozens of needy kids from the Middle East
for operations here. Assaf puts them and their parents up in his home and acts
as a source of moral support during their stay.
"He's done
a lot for the community here and overseas," says Paterson Deputy Mayor
Awni Abu Hadba.
Sharing blame
Activism, Assaf
says, guarantees critics and controversy.
Indeed, he
ruffles feathers — in his own community, sometimes, and among some Jewish
groups through his frequent criticism of Israel and its handling of
Palestinians.
"I am
against violence by anyone and for any reason," Assaf says. "But the
violence by Palestinians would never have achieved the level it has had it not
been for the loss of their land. The occupation by Israel is terrorism at its worst
form because it's not attacks by a crazy individual. It's one side keeping the
occupied side from having the freedom to live, to worship, to move
around."
Assaf says he
believes that both sides share some blame and both must admit mistakes before
peace can be possible. But he argues that Israel,
with more resources and the United
States as a strong ally, has the upper hand.
Such talk
angers people like Alison Gall, director of the state chapter of the American
Jewish Committee.
"Our
problem with him and others is everything is looked at through only Palestinian
suffering," Gall says. "Palestinians are suffering, but thousands of
rockets and missiles have been fired from Gaza
into towns that are inside Israel.
Israel
seems more powerful, but terror today is an equalizer. Assaf is
one-sided."
Still, Assaf is
diligent about exchanges with pro-Israelis. He submits essays to Jewish
publications and publishes pro-Israeli responses on his Web site. The outreach efforts
upset some members of his own community, Assaf says.
"They say,
how dare you talk to Jewish groups," he says. "I say, 'Yes, I talk to
them because that's how you achieve peace.' "
At the moment,
Assaf's endeavors are locally focused — rallying support for the imam,
Qatanani, to avoid deportation and obtain a green card; plans with the editor
of the Paterson-based Arab Voice to publish an English-language version; and
pushing for an Arab heritage commission in New Jersey.
"We have
the education, the financial capability and the infrastructure to achieve
greater empowerment and be part of this great American mosaic," Assaf
says. "Our time will come."
Find this article at:
http://www.northjersey.com/news/immigration/An_unyielding_Arab_voice.html
GEO says:
Thank you for such a powerful and truly intriguing story.
People who have such a focused passion for doing what is right bless America’s. I
did not like the quote by Alyson Gall from the Jewish Committee who undermined
the uniqueness of Dr. Assaf's vision. We rarely get to read much on Palestinian
suffering, humanity and also their ability to be this good and giving of
themselves. He showed a balanced and coherent understanding of the world around
him. Thank you for sharing your world with us and thank you the Record for
making it possible.
fairplay says:
"dkneit" Considering the fact that a stranger has
never evicted you from you home and allowed you to never return. I can see why
you feel this unending Arab violence is so drowning.
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